When Morris was in preschool, some parents put together a laminated placemat as an end of year momento for the students. Even though Morris has parted from his preschool comrades, he still enjoys using the placemat at mealtime.

One night at dinner he requested it and was occupied so nicely having "conversations" with all his buddies.

Look at all the nice smiling faces from Mo's preschool days.

Little did I know what my "sweet" Mo was up to.

The school owner and teachers got a heavy dose of Mo's artistic skills.

Teacher Carolyn was spared "because she likes Brett Favre." (That's my boy!)

No mercy!

At least he's loyal. No Sharpie makeover for himself or his preschool girlfriends, Samantha and Devin.

One thing I'm learning about having 2 kids is all about sibling relationships. Morris and Bronson are 4 years apart. They want to play with each other,  but sometimes it's hard for a 5 year old to communicate with a 1 year old and vice versa.

I'm learning the fine line of parental intervention and when to just let them "work it out". I don't want Morris to feel that I'm always taking Bronson's side then Mo feels alienated and like I chose "the baby" over him. At the same time, I don't want to teach Bronson to be passive and feel like I'm gonna always step in and save him when there's an altercation.

So lately, I've just been sitting back and watching how things play out and intervene at the last minute as a last solution.

Mo: Look at my cool R2D2.

Bronson: Hmm...what's my brother have? Looks kind of interesting. I'm gonna check it out.

Bronson: Oh yeah, that's cool. I sure wish I could play with it...

Mo: I said "NO" you little shit. Buzz off.

Mo: Beat it Bronson.

Bronson: Ok, fine, if you're not gonna show me how R2D2 works, I'll just read my books.

Mo: Ok, fine, it has a remote control that makes it work...

Mo: Then, R2D2 starts moving and talking...

Bronson: I don't get it...lemme just get a little closer.

Mo: That's too close little brother. Back it up.

Mo: You got too close bro.

Bronson: Just lemme see the remote then...please...

Mo: This kid is annoying.

Mo: When are you gonna get it through your thick head...

Bronson: When are you gonna get it through your thick head...

Mo: I'm gonna have to show him who the BIG BROTHER is around these parts.

Mo: I'm locking R2D2 in the bathroom. Now, scram half-pint.

Mo: Lie down and take a nap.

Bronson: Don't do that brother...I'm warning ya.

Mo: OUCH! Ok, fine you can see R2D2

Bronson: I warned ya.

Sometimes, situations just have a way of working themselves out.

One of my favorite days of the week is Friday. Not for TGIF, but because it's the day I volunteer in Mo's Kindergarten classroom. I have been doing reading with all the kids. They read 2 or 3 books to me and I reward them with stickers on the reading chart. It's lots of fun.

Well, one day, the teacher decided to put me on arts and crafts. I was a little nervous, because this has never been my area of expertise. Pretty much throughout my lifetime my artwork has always looked like a Kindergartner did it. But, I gave it a shot. 

I failed. I got a big fat "F". 

I was supposed to be making Freedom Buses with the kids. And the first order of business was to demonstrate the steps by drawing a bus on the dry erase board. It was going really well until I realized that instead of using the designated dry erase marker, I used a Sharpie. Oopsie.

I hung my head low and took the evidence of my carelessness home with the intent of purchasing a new one for the class. 

Then, after griping about it on facebook, another mom told me there is a magic solution to get it out. Apparently I'm not the first idiot to do this!!!! So, here is the remedy to remove sharpie marker from a dry erase board (not that I'm implying any of you would do this):

1. Go over the Sharpie marks with a dry erase marker. Make sure you cover completely. Let it sit for 1-2 minutes.

2. Say "mamasay mamasou maknocku sigh" 3x

3. Drop to the floor and do the worm

4. PRESTO! Wipe it off. It comes off.

5. You might need to repeat the process. This really works.

BEFORE

AFTER!

I love kid birthday parties. It means free cake, food, and bottled water for me. It means a playdate for the boys.

But with 20 kids in Mo's Kindergarten class, old preschool friends, neighbors, and friend's kids, that can mean a lot of birthday parties which can add up to a lot of money in gifts.

So, to cut back on expenses, I let Mo make his friends a birthday card instead of buying one. This serves many purposes:

1. It is cost effective

2. It gets rid of useless junk laying around (sometimes he glues on buttons, junk mail pamphlets, old stickers, etc)

3. It keeps him busy

4. His friend gets a gift from the heart

5. It teaches Mo that all gifts don't be expensive

The other day, I left Mo alone to make a special card for his #1 buddy, Max. Mo was excited because Max is one of his best friends from preschool. He's such a great kid, I adore his follks, and he has a younger sister in Bronson's mommy and me class. Mo was so excited to create something special for his friend and when he was finished, he was REALLY proud of his work:

The moral of the story: Do not leave your Victoria's Secret catalog by the kids' arts and crafts station.

BTW, still haven't heard from Max's parents. Not sure how this "birthday card" went over at the present unveiling ceremony.

Hmm......

Dear Mo and Bronson,

I know as you boys get older you will start to read mommy's blog. So let's just pretend we are in the future and approaching your 16th birthdays.

I'm guessing you'll be into cars and hip hop. That's cool. You might even watch the MTV hit, My Super Sweet Sixteen which showcases over the top birthday celebrations. That's fine also.

But even if mommy is rich and jet setting from Cali to Capri on a regular basis (oooh...the law of attraction), let me tell you in advance how your 16th birthday WON'T be going down:

*You won't be getting a $360,000 Maybach. You might get a Mazda (in which I'm gonna need to help for half as well as your car insurance).

*You won't have Fabolous, Jim Jones, or Lil Kim perform at your mega exclusive A-List birthday bash. You might have your high school gospel choir or Glee Club there to sing Happy Birthday. Or maybe one of my friends that had a record deal many years ago could possibly chime in a hook or 2.

*I will not hire a uniformed driver to accompany you home. I might dress up in a cute ensemble given that my boobs and butt are still decently in tact and drive you home to make sure you get there safely (and you better give me a goodnight kiss).

*I will not be handing you a check for $10,000 as a birthday gift. I might hand you the bill from the evening and offer to pay a portion of it.

Yes, Morris and Bronson, this might be the fabulous life of Sean "P. Diddy" Combs's son, Justin's life, but not yours.

You will be lucky if I let you stay out past midnight (given I have a GPS tracker on you somehow). And don't even think about brining any little girls home.

Forget about it!!!!

Well, it's probably getting late. Don't forget to brush your teeth. And put that toilet seat down!

Oh, and Happy 16th Birthday boys.

Love, Mommy

Everyone's kid "tests" them at some point or another out in public.

If it hasn't happened yet, it will.

It could be at the grocery store when you get in the checkout line and your kid starts whining about how they want a chocolate bar that is so convienently placed at kids eye level.

Or at restaurant after you order him a pizza and he declares he wanted chicken nuggets.

Or at park when you say it's time to go home and he decides to do a public meltdown in an attempt to get 5 more minutes of playtime.

What do you do? Do you give in? Do you ignore them? Do you beat their azz? lol....just kidding

I have been pretty lucky in this department. Mo and Bronson haven't really had major incidents. BUT, on a recent airplane trip, Mo finally did it to me....

We were flying 20,000 feet in the air when the beverage cart came wheeling down the aisle. Mo's eyes got really big when he saw the color assortment of soda cans, especially since he had just mentioned how thirsty he was.

Perky flight attendant (to me): What can I get for you today?

Me: I'll have an apple juice please.

Perky flight attendant: And for your child.

Mo (interrupting): I'll have a Coke.

Me (looking at Mo like he just slapped me): Excuse you....

Mo (giggling): Pretty mommy, can I PLEASE have a Coke?

Me (oh no he didn't pull the "pretty mommy" card): Um, NO!

Slightly agitated flight attendant: Ma'am what should I get for him?

Mo (grinning): COKE

Me (clenching my teeth): you can have apple juice, orange juice, pineapple juice, or cranberry juice.

Mo: Well, my DAD lets me drink Coke all the time. You're mean.

Me (is my kid trying to make this a good guy/bad guy thing): Do I look like your dad? Do you think I have a penis?

Mo (giggling at my use of a potty word): No mom, but it's really not fair that dad gives me soda and you don't.

At this point, all the passengers around us have diverted their attention from their in-flight satellite tv monitors and Mo and I have become the feature presentation...

Me: Here's your choice Mo, either apple juice or water.

Mo: That's not fair. Before you said I could have all those other juices.

Me: Oh well, you lost your privielege. In a minute, it's only gonna be water, and then nothing.

Mo: You're the meanest mom in the world.

Me (to the now annoyed flight attendant): He'll have a water.

Mo: OK, OK....I want apple juice.

For a split second, I almost caved. I had visions of Mo throwing a tantrum and our flight. Then our plane being escorted to the ground by two federal B-57 bombers and Mo taken into military custody and sent to bootcamp for his behavior.

It definitely would have been easier to just say yes and give him the Coke. But, what kind of message would that have sent to him? In the end, it would have done more damage than good because the next time he wanted something I disapproved of we would have gone through the same process.

Stick to you guns folks. Remember WE are the parents for a reason.

I always stress out around the Holiday Season as to what to get for Mo's teachers. Luckily, the class did a money collection and purchased gift certificates. Problem solved. I love the parents that take initiative. It enables me to be a slacker.

They also did a class photo of the kids and gave it to the teachers as well.

It turned out pretty good. I had absolutely nothing to do with the construction of it, so please don't ask me any "how to" questions. I just followed instructions and sent Mo to school wearing all black.  (In case you're looking, Mo is the left part of the "O")

Recently I talked to a mom that said she wasn't sure if she was gonna continue to do the whole "Santa thing" with her kids. She was a little down about the economy and said she didn't think it was right that Santa get the credit for her hard earned money and gift giving.

For me, it's just the whole essence of giving my kids something to believe in.

I can remember how excited I got around the holidays and the magical feeling of waking up Christmas morning to see the tree lit and filled with presents underneath. (I won't mention the one Christmas where I complained about the gifts and called them "crap" only to be sent back to bed until I was a little more appreciative for Santa's efforts).

Anyway, I realize what that mom was saying, but once you grow up and have kids, you really appreciate the efforts your parents make to help you feel special. And I'm sure your kids will feel the same way.

Whether it's giving "Santa" credit for the gift giving or the Tooth Fairy credit for the money. Just as adults need distractions from things such as the economy, relationships, job situations, etc, children need the same. They too get frustrated with life's little curveballs: making friends, doing well in school, excelling in sports, fitting in, etc.

So, I choose to let the holiday season be a happy time for me and the boys. It's a time to celebrate togetherness and c

reate traditions and happiness to remember for years to come. I can only hope that when they get older they will look back and appreciate the efforts just as I do now with my own folks and them giving me the gift of something to hope for and believe in.

Here are a couple of cool sites I found the kids might enjoy:

Claus.com: The coolest thing about this site is the "Naughty and Nice Rating". You type in your name and get a report from what Santa has concluded about your behavior. Here's what Santa thinks about me:

Overall, niceness outweighs naughtiness. Was good a lot last month! Politeness often good, but has room for improvement. Could help around house more instead of watching so much TV. Expected to move even higher up "nice" list.

Hmm...Guess I better get my butt in gear if I want to get that new Chole!

SantaClaus.com: For $9.95 you can get a personalized letter from Santa with a stamp "Mailed from the North Pole". For $6.95 your child can get a phone call the big guy personalized with their name. This sounds like a Flip worthy moment for when your kid is on his way to the Senior Prom. I'm sure his date will get a kick out of his excitement in the years to come.

NoradSanta.org: Wanna know Santa's exact location right now? This site can pinpoint Santa's location as well as a detailed countdown til the thrilling day. There is an amazing FAQ's section that answers your kid's most common questions that we seem to make up the dumbest answers for:

How does Santa get down chimneys?, How old is Santa?, When will Santa arrive at my house, etc.

So in between your holiday shopping and baking, hop on over to these sites. I've gotta go work on raising my niceness quotient!

It's that time of year: Christmas card time!

For moms, this is like our Fantasy Football, tailgating, and poker night all rolled into one. It's our mommy moment of glory.

It's the time of year we show off our kids to people that we never talk to. We dress our little ones up, make them sit still, and take goofy holiday photos. What happened to just buying the generic cards from Target? NO! Now, we all do the fancy online photo cards. We must show off our offspring, right?

Then we mail them off to many friends that we have lost touch with over time. Why does mailing a silly Christmas card give us a sense of redemption for neglecting family and friends over a year's time? 

It's so funny when they email you once they recieved it, "wow, the boys have grown up so much, and really changed." Ya think? It's been a whole year since you've last "seen" them. Remember? Last year's Christmas card? We haven't talked since then.

Oh well, I always have fun doing our family Christmas card. I look forward to it.

Last year, I sort of went a little overboard. It's was Bronson's first Christmas, so I wanted it to be really special. I tricked him and Mo out in coordinating Christmas outfits and went to a popular LA photographer.

This year, I was slack. Before I knew it, Thanksgiving was over and I hadn't even thought about the  Christmas card attire. There has been so much going on, I have really put this project on the back burner. That is until I got the first card of the season....it was from my cousin. It promptly arrived on Dec 1 with the entire family (mom, dad, and 3 kids) all spic and span in matching ensembles.

All the good photographers were booked, and I really didn't feel like buying another green and red button down set. So, I pulled out my trusty point and shoot camera and let the boys wear whatever they wanted. They were less than cooperative, but we sure had fun trying to snap a photo.

Bronson is 18 months old now and really into playing "chase" so he won't sit still for one second (unless you're giving him cheetos). And Mo is so into superhero and martial arts poses. To him, "nice smile" means one arm doing an uppercut and the other one strangling poor Bronson.

So, I got a little creative with the photo layout. If you're on my Christmas card mailing list, check your mailboxes soon. 

Here are a few that didn't quite make the Christmas card cut:

When Mo first started Kindergarten, it was a chaotic mad dash out of the house to try and get him fed, dressed, out the door, and at school by 8:15 AM. Phew!

For the first month, I felt like a complete failure as a mom. It seemed unattainable.

How were all the other moms doing it?

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with my kid?

I felt like such a militant mom because I was always barking orders in the morning, "brush your teeth, find your socks, don't forget your backpack, eat your breakfast..." Was I turning into my mom?!

Then, just the other day, it all clicked. Everything started to come together.

I woke up and Mo had already brushed his teeth and fixed his "hairstyle". (If you've ever seen my kid's hair, this is an enormous feat in itself, and knocks at least 15 minutes off of the morning prep time.)

I praised him extensively. He seemed pleased with his accomplishment.

Then a week later, in addition to his personal grooming, he started dressing himself. This was a double victory because he liked to "surprise" me before I got out of bed by being fully dressed, which meant I got to lounge for about 10 minutes longer as he tousseled with his pants and took off and on all his shirts until he figured out which one was the undershirt and which was the "top shirt". 

Now, I would love to take credit for this independence. 

Going from being in the bottom tier of timely attendance to one of the first kids to arrive should be enough bragging rights for me. But, I really had to get to the bottom of everything.

Finally, Mo confessed: "All the pretty girls get to school early."

Hey, whatever works!

Let's just hope Mo isn't hanging out under the bleachers before 1st period.