Sometimes going to extreme measures with kids is necessary. On occasion, simple answers carry very little weight. Kids need a detailed dramatic picture to get through their hard heads.

Example:

Me: Mo, please don't put those legos in your mouth.

Mo: Why?

Me: Because I asked you not to....(he takes it out but does it again 2 minutes later)

Me: Mo, please don't put those legos in your mouth.

Mo: Why?

Me: I don't want you to choke...(he takes it out but does it again 2 minutes later)

Me: Mo, please don't put those legos in your mouth.

Mo: Why?

Me: Because they can get stuck in your throat, close off your esophagus, put a strain on your bronchial tubes, then I have to call 911, find a babysitter for your brother while we rush you to the hospital, spend hours driving in circles trying to find a parking place. Then you will have to get numerous painful shots, you will probably start bleeding, blood will gush out everywhere, ruining your new favorite Star Wars shirt, get all gross in your hair, we'd have to wash your hair (and I know how much you hate that) and you could DIE!!!!!!

He spits the legos out and hasn't put one in his mouth since.

Sometimes you have to go to extreme measures. 

Since I have 2 boys, people are always asking if they have similar personalities. Yes and no.

They are both Gemini. They have a 4 year age difference, but their birthdays are 2 weeks apart.

The easiest way to put it into perspective is this:

Mo (Morris) has the same bday as Naomi Campbell.

B (Bronson) has the same bday as Angelina Jolie.

Mo: Very intense and emotional. He's meticulous and an extreme perfectionist. He is ultra competitive in everything he does and doesn't like to be 2nd best in anything. When he's happy, it's almost as if he's drunk. When he's angry, his jugular vein bulges. He needs attention, but doesn't neccesarily have to be the center of attention at gatherings. He has a quiet confidence and always surveys a situation or circumstance before taking action. Gets bored easily, especially when he's not challenged. He's very protective of people he loves and has a passion for fighting and being physical, although he is rarely the aggressor. Loves the ladies, girls, females, etc...

B: Very carefree and laid back. He adapts well to change and goes along for the ride easily. He loves to laugh and play, often times just by himself. He is extremely independent and does the best when he's just left alone to do his own thing. His favorite activity is eating. He always has food in his hand or mouth. He loves to laugh and thinks everything is funny. He will sit down quietly and read books or do puzzles. He has a pretty good attention span and doesn't get bored with repetivie tasks. Very sweet, fun loving, and happy among loved ones, but cautious and quiet around unfamiliar faces.

We'll see what happens over the next few years. Otherwise, I'm content with my little Naomi and little Angelina. :-)

When Morris was in preschool, some parents put together a laminated placemat as an end of year momento for the students. Even though Morris has parted from his preschool comrades, he still enjoys using the placemat at mealtime.

One night at dinner he requested it and was occupied so nicely having "conversations" with all his buddies.

Look at all the nice smiling faces from Mo's preschool days.

Little did I know what my "sweet" Mo was up to.

The school owner and teachers got a heavy dose of Mo's artistic skills.

Teacher Carolyn was spared "because she likes Brett Favre." (That's my boy!)

No mercy!

At least he's loyal. No Sharpie makeover for himself or his preschool girlfriends, Samantha and Devin.

One thing I'm learning about having 2 kids is all about sibling relationships. Morris and Bronson are 4 years apart. They want to play with each other,  but sometimes it's hard for a 5 year old to communicate with a 1 year old and vice versa.

I'm learning the fine line of parental intervention and when to just let them "work it out". I don't want Morris to feel that I'm always taking Bronson's side then Mo feels alienated and like I chose "the baby" over him. At the same time, I don't want to teach Bronson to be passive and feel like I'm gonna always step in and save him when there's an altercation.

So lately, I've just been sitting back and watching how things play out and intervene at the last minute as a last solution.

Mo: Look at my cool R2D2.

Bronson: Hmm...what's my brother have? Looks kind of interesting. I'm gonna check it out.

Bronson: Oh yeah, that's cool. I sure wish I could play with it...

Mo: I said "NO" you little shit. Buzz off.

Mo: Beat it Bronson.

Bronson: Ok, fine, if you're not gonna show me how R2D2 works, I'll just read my books.

Mo: Ok, fine, it has a remote control that makes it work...

Mo: Then, R2D2 starts moving and talking...

Bronson: I don't get it...lemme just get a little closer.

Mo: That's too close little brother. Back it up.

Mo: You got too close bro.

Bronson: Just lemme see the remote then...please...

Mo: This kid is annoying.

Mo: When are you gonna get it through your thick head...

Bronson: When are you gonna get it through your thick head...

Mo: I'm gonna have to show him who the BIG BROTHER is around these parts.

Mo: I'm locking R2D2 in the bathroom. Now, scram half-pint.

Mo: Lie down and take a nap.

Bronson: Don't do that brother...I'm warning ya.

Mo: OUCH! Ok, fine you can see R2D2

Bronson: I warned ya.

Sometimes, situations just have a way of working themselves out.

One of my favorite days of the week is Friday. Not for TGIF, but because it's the day I volunteer in Mo's Kindergarten classroom. I have been doing reading with all the kids. They read 2 or 3 books to me and I reward them with stickers on the reading chart. It's lots of fun.

Well, one day, the teacher decided to put me on arts and crafts. I was a little nervous, because this has never been my area of expertise. Pretty much throughout my lifetime my artwork has always looked like a Kindergartner did it. But, I gave it a shot. 

I failed. I got a big fat "F". 

I was supposed to be making Freedom Buses with the kids. And the first order of business was to demonstrate the steps by drawing a bus on the dry erase board. It was going really well until I realized that instead of using the designated dry erase marker, I used a Sharpie. Oopsie.

I hung my head low and took the evidence of my carelessness home with the intent of purchasing a new one for the class. 

Then, after griping about it on facebook, another mom told me there is a magic solution to get it out. Apparently I'm not the first idiot to do this!!!! So, here is the remedy to remove sharpie marker from a dry erase board (not that I'm implying any of you would do this):

1. Go over the Sharpie marks with a dry erase marker. Make sure you cover completely. Let it sit for 1-2 minutes.

2. Say "mamasay mamasou maknocku sigh" 3x

3. Drop to the floor and do the worm

4. PRESTO! Wipe it off. It comes off.

5. You might need to repeat the process. This really works.

BEFORE

AFTER!

I love kid birthday parties. It means free cake, food, and bottled water for me. It means a playdate for the boys.

But with 20 kids in Mo's Kindergarten class, old preschool friends, neighbors, and friend's kids, that can mean a lot of birthday parties which can add up to a lot of money in gifts.

So, to cut back on expenses, I let Mo make his friends a birthday card instead of buying one. This serves many purposes:

1. It is cost effective

2. It gets rid of useless junk laying around (sometimes he glues on buttons, junk mail pamphlets, old stickers, etc)

3. It keeps him busy

4. His friend gets a gift from the heart

5. It teaches Mo that all gifts don't be expensive

The other day, I left Mo alone to make a special card for his #1 buddy, Max. Mo was excited because Max is one of his best friends from preschool. He's such a great kid, I adore his follks, and he has a younger sister in Bronson's mommy and me class. Mo was so excited to create something special for his friend and when he was finished, he was REALLY proud of his work:

The moral of the story: Do not leave your Victoria's Secret catalog by the kids' arts and crafts station.

BTW, still haven't heard from Max's parents. Not sure how this "birthday card" went over at the present unveiling ceremony.

Hmm......

Dear Mo and Bronson,

I know as you boys get older you will start to read mommy's blog. So let's just pretend we are in the future and approaching your 16th birthdays.

I'm guessing you'll be into cars and hip hop. That's cool. You might even watch the MTV hit, My Super Sweet Sixteen which showcases over the top birthday celebrations. That's fine also.

But even if mommy is rich and jet setting from Cali to Capri on a regular basis (oooh...the law of attraction), let me tell you in advance how your 16th birthday WON'T be going down:

*You won't be getting a $360,000 Maybach. You might get a Mazda (in which I'm gonna need to help for half as well as your car insurance).

*You won't have Fabolous, Jim Jones, or Lil Kim perform at your mega exclusive A-List birthday bash. You might have your high school gospel choir or Glee Club there to sing Happy Birthday. Or maybe one of my friends that had a record deal many years ago could possibly chime in a hook or 2.

*I will not hire a uniformed driver to accompany you home. I might dress up in a cute ensemble given that my boobs and butt are still decently in tact and drive you home to make sure you get there safely (and you better give me a goodnight kiss).

*I will not be handing you a check for $10,000 as a birthday gift. I might hand you the bill from the evening and offer to pay a portion of it.

Yes, Morris and Bronson, this might be the fabulous life of Sean "P. Diddy" Combs's son, Justin's life, but not yours.

You will be lucky if I let you stay out past midnight (given I have a GPS tracker on you somehow). And don't even think about brining any little girls home.

Forget about it!!!!

Well, it's probably getting late. Don't forget to brush your teeth. And put that toilet seat down!

Oh, and Happy 16th Birthday boys.

Love, Mommy